Outside the box?

 Think outside the box. How many times have you heard that expression? The box. What is the box? I struggle with that phrase because it requires me to overcome something that I know.  The box...if the box is a problem, means I have to discard everything I have learned in order to find a different solution. I try, but it is difficult to do.

What about our boxes? Life is filled with boxes. So many boxes that we must look like a engine  pulling a train down the street. Some boxes are inevitable and I can't rid myself of them, some I have assumed throughout my life and others were thrust upon me. What am I talking about? Let's take a look.

The one that is in the forefront right now is the "race" box.  I can't change this box.  I am what I am.  Then there is the "sex" box. I am female and while I guess I could change that, I probably won't.  That would just put me in "different" box. Or the "age" box. Now I sincerely would like to think my way out of that one but there isn't much chance.  I suppose I could alter it a bit with some plastic surgery but it really doesn't change the box itself, just the wrapping. And there is the "Mom" box and the "wife" box. So many boxes . . ..

There are also other boxes, ones that we impose upon ourselves. The "political" box that I have chosen definitely puts me at odds with some. Or the "religion" box which can and, sometimes does, offend people. There is the "employment" box which defines who I am by what I do. Or the "education" box that shows the world how smart I am, or think I am. Or what about the "insecurity" box?

But the boxes that bother me the most are the boxes that I am thrust into against my own volition. It is just not right to put someone in a box because YOU think that is where they belong. It could be a "protestor" box or a "rioter" box.  It might be the "wealth/poverty" box. But it is the "fear" box that is most disconcerting.  This is a box that has been created by man to keep me in a BOX. I see so many people who are afraid to live for fear they'll die. I hate to tell you this but we were all terminal from the day of conception.  I refuse to allow someone else to put me in this box.

I had an epiphany the other day while walking with a group of ladies.  Only one in the bunch was wearing a mask and, since I am new, I found it very disconcerting that I couldn't see her face. She seemed to disappear into the background. I couldn't see her and found that I didn't listen to her either. This "mask wearing" box concerns me greatly!  Not because of Covid-19, but because we are being separated, we are becoming non-entities to each other. And if we become faceless objects, then it will be much easier to be less compassionate, concerned or accountable. We need one another! Occasionally we might not like one another, but we still need each other. And if we can't see the joy or pain or indecision on someone's face, how are we going to understand or empathize with them. We have been thrust into the "isolation" box! Is it living if we reside in an isolation chamber? Back in the "day", isolation was punishment: standing in the corner, going to your room, solitary confinement. Now we are becoming a society that accepts isolation for our own good. Maybe this new box will keep me alive, but it has removed all the joy of living!

So how do we think outside the box?  Which ones do we try to dislodge from our lives.  It is a little difficult when there are so many.  I know that I am tired, tired of dragging along crap that for the most part is of no consequence in this life. I am a created being. Created in the image of God. And that is the only box I want to fit in. The rest can be cut away. What's in your box?

Just Writin' on the River Road

Change or not?

How do you reason with the unreasonable? Do you prod them to accept your point of view, argue the fine points or bury them with evidence to the contrary? Probably none of that will work. Change is a hard thing. Is it possible to convince others to see things differently? Maybe. Perhaps a change of tactics, removal the barriers or an open the line of communication would help.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Allow people to make up their own mind, it will be much more palatable.  And accepted. So how do we do that?  Sometimes it's a matter of allowing them to choose differently.  Rather than railing at your teen about the travails of driving intoxicated, tell them about someone who was maimed or died as a result of irresponsibility. They now have information to think about and they may make a different choice.

You can warn people that they are being manipulated. No one likes to feel like they are being used. In the midst of this Covid-19 situation, I feel manipulated. Therefore I tend to push back. I don’t think that’s what was intended with this overdose of information, but that’s the effect it has on me. Rather than accepting the mandates, I rebel. If the war was against the virus and not forcing me to adhere to rules or if I found the mandates consistent, I would be more accepting and see these mandates as (perhaps) helpful.

Ask questions rather than making statements. Rather than condemning the protestors for tearing down statues, ask them why that monument disturbs them. Do they know what it stands for? Do they even know who the individual was? (Ya, I know . . . that is pretty "out there")  Asking questions makes people think. Personally, I think most of those who are doing all this damage are following a “herd” mentality. They really have no idea what they think or why they are doing things. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is frightening. I am pretty sure they know wrong from right  but really don’t care. A question might bring their conscience to the forefront . . . if we ever have a chance to pose it.

You can always call attention to what a person is saying verses what they are doing. Is destroying a small business that has taken years to build going to make things better for you? How is destroying public property making life better for those you “think” you are helping? Just asking…….

As I said, change is difficult. How many of you have purchased the same laundry detergent (or any other item) since year one? There might be something out there that is more cost effective that could save you money. Have you checked the ingredients? I was looking at plant food the other day . . . literally every brand from generic to top of the line had the same ingredients. Cost, we have to count the cost. Whether it is shopping, downsizing, changing our lifestyle or acting out. Remember to consider the cost.

Make small changes. People are more accepting when the change is smaller. Rather than write off the opinions of political opponents because of listening to exclusive media outlets that support your belief, take a few minutes to listen to the other side. No one side is perfect, but we need to make informed decisions and not be “manipulated” by the media. One of the things I do is make a list……...an honest list for me alone. Pros and cons. You don’t have to like a person or be affiliated with a political party to honestly appreciate some of the things that they have done. I find the political divide in our country to be not only sad, but devastating. Give it a try . . . listen, make a choice based on facts not opinion. Do you like the stock market going up? Check. Do you hate the idea of war? Check. Are you in favor of jobs? Check. Are you pro or anti-abortion? Check.  Choose the side that most closely supports your belief.

All that being said, I really don’t hold out much hope of changing of those who are beyond reason. They are “sheeple”. They would follow the crowd off a cliff and find someone else to blame for their actions. We have raised a generation of people who don’t think, don’t seek the truth and certainly don’t see the bigger picture. We are so busy defending our position with silly analogies, accepting lies or following causes, that we don’t bother to truly think at all. Unfortunately, conviction and hate run deep. I do have hope, but it is not in this world. The hope I have is eternal. And we are all given the choice of where to spend eternity. Have you chosen yet? You may want to think about it.

Just Writin’ on the River Road