Two men standing by a river notice a child struggling to stay afloat, so they dive in to save him. Then they see a second child in the river and a third. One of the men continues saving children, but the other rushes to the shore and runs up the bank. When asked where he was going, he responds that he’s headed up stream to stop the guy who is throwing kids into the river. (Dan Heath, Duke University.)
I confess when I read this little parable, I was pulled up short. It was almost like a slap in the face. This is the theme of this world we live in. Fix the immediate problem, but not the cause of the problem. I see it everywhere. The medical community hands you a pill to relieve your symptom. The welfare system gives out food to fix an immediate need. The political system is concentrated on making everybody happy to get their vote. At some point, we are going to have to figure out why we have these problems in order to fix them.
Operating Twelve Baskets (our non-profit ministry) has been an eye opener for me. We began by generously fixing everyone’s immediate needs. And then it became apparent that there were those who returned repeatedly for help. Obviously we were not fixing the problem. So we became more discerning, asked more questions, offered different options and our requests for help diminished. Not that we don’t want to help people, for that is our purpose, but we had to decide if we were helping or were we enabling. What became abundantly clear was that most people did not want to be accountable. They did not desire financial planning, budgeting lessons, help finding a job . . . they just wanted the bill paid. Our focus changed at some point in ten years. We now offer things that can help people out of their hole. And those things take work, effort, and willingness to change. Sometimes it means saying no. That makes us look heartless. We are not. We genuinely want the best for people. But we can’t do it for them. We want to fix the problem so they won’t find themselves struggling in the river. We want to teach them to fish rather than handing them a fish.
We have built a society around entitlement. Bottom line is that none of us are entitled to anything. We work, earn a living, save our money, have retirement put away, maybe some savings . . . things to get us through life. These things have been earned with blood, sweat and tears. Yes, bad things happen that are out of anyone's control . . . those are the times when a hand “up” is necessary, a helping hand so they can get back on their feet.
How do we change this world? How do we forsake the drowning child and go up stream to fix the problem? I wish I knew. In a world of instant gratification, there is very little planning or focusing on the future, there is only “now”. And literally “now” is all we have, but that is no reason to not dream, plan or hope for things that will improve our lives. Work hard, seek an education, put forth effort to improve your situation; don’t spend your life as the one who is continually being pulled out of the river. Eventually you are going to drown in the process. Think about it! Are you helping or enabling?
Just Writin’ on the River Road
