Robert Fulghum wrote
a book some time ago called All I Really Needed to Know I Learned
in Kindergarten. There is probably a great deal of truth in that,
but I have come to the conclusion that ninety percent of my “real life" education, I got while standing in line.
JoAnn’s Craft
Store or Walmart are my favorite places to stand in line. NOT! But it does
provide a venue for me to extend my education while there.
Sometimes there are 20 people in front of me, all of whom have an
opinion about something. I really have attempted to join the
conversation (on very rare occasions) but am often looked at like I
have three eyes and floppy ears. So I just listen. I peruse the
candy and analyze the gizmos on the shelf as I wait. Do you know how
many kinds of chocolate they have there? Umpteen. And how many
$19.95 gizmos that don’t work, or zillions of flavors of body
lotions and candles. Granted you don’t learn a lot from labels,
but every little bit helps.
Have you ever
watched people shop while in line? They read the magazines, handle
all the goodies in the aisle, even smell things. Oh ya, I am guilty.
What else do you do there? Shuffle your feet, push the person in
front of you a littler closer to the check stand, or you can check
out the merchandise that was put there to tempt you. Did you notice
that they never have fresh veggies or fruit lining the aisles.
What
they do have in abundance are “gossip” magazines. I would never
stoop so low as to actually buy one, but I can flip pages to my
hearts content while in line. You don’t have to actually “read”
them, you just look at the pictures of all the “beautiful people”
with problems. Is that suppose to make those of us without fame and
fortune feel better? Kinda. Maybe?
Life in “the line”
is also a fashion statement to the extreme. Since when did people go
to the store in their pajamas, or wear their underwear on the outside
of their clothing, or let every ounce of your well fed bodies hang
out for all to see. I know more about your anatomy than you do. And
some of it ain’t so pretty. Sometimes I am overwhelmed with the
urge to yank down those pants that are already half way to your
knees. But I am sure it would be for naught. For while standing in
line at the deli one day, one such young man took his pants off and
readjusted everything and put them back on. Way too much
information!
And I would love to
tell you how much my vocabulary has expanded . . . NOT! I do know a
lot of words that I would never use in public or anywhere else. Why
do people think that vulgar language makes them . . . I don’t
know, smart, hip, cool? It certainly doesn’t make them look
intelligent. It does make them appear trashy, uneducated, and most
certainly unemployable. I would never hire someone who found it
necessary to express themselves with four letter words! Do you
realize how you sound?
But my biggest issue
is how you treat your children. I can tell what kind of person you
are by how you treat your children and animals. My heart aches when
I hear you yell and debase your little ones for just being children.
Now those that are having tantrums, they need an education, but those
who are just being kids don’t deserve to be told to shut up,
threatened with who knows what, or told they are dummies. You are
very scary sometimes. And my heart bleeds for the damage you are
doing to the next generation.
I could share
information concerning your diets, personal problems, medical
misadventures, intimate issues, and a boat load of other stuff.
Beware of us quiet ones, we might appear to be invisible, but we are
listening. I have probably taken eavesdropping to a fine art. And I
often wish I hadn’t.
Just writin' on the River Road
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