Family

Family.  We are all familiar with family . . . parents, siblings, cousins.  Family, however, comes in more forms than just a blood connection.  Family is a group of people with whom you share a very intimate, bonded relationship.

We have discovered one such family in these last few weeks.  Not that we weren't aware of it, but we had not been an intimate member of this portion of the "cancer" family in some time.  Sitting in

Our new family!

radiation oncology's waiting room is an experience that I hope no one ever has to share, but if you do, let me tell you what you will find there.

First, there are no secrets.  They talk about their cancer as we discuss the local gossip with a morning cup of coffee.  What kind?  What treatment?  What drugs?  What side effects?  What is the prognosis?  How do you feel?  There is no shame in the fact that they are sick, perhaps even deathly ill.

Second, it is the most positive place I have ever been.  These people encourage each other in ways that the rest of us can't even begin to understand.  They cheer each other on, celebrate each little bit of success.  They are happy, joking, empathetic, supportive......and I am not talking about the employees (although it is true of them also), these are the people awaiting treatment.  Each and every one is taking their turn with "the machine" that will burn and destroy some part of their body, but in spite of it all, they march forward heads held high and a smile on their face.  And they go with the support of their "family".

Third, it takes only a few minutes to be included in this family.  They know and remember your name, age, birthday, and any other amount of information that floats in and out of the conversation.  There isn't time for the mundane like politics, or television or news.  There is only time for the "family" that they meet every morning in the waiting room.  The openness and laughter are contagious, you enjoy being with them.

Ready for treatment.

This "family" that we will know intimately only for a few minutes for a few days will impact our lives forever.  How is that possible?  Is it the terrible circumstances?  Or is it because the unimportant things of life are stripped away and that which is really important comes to the forefront.  Ultimately, once this treatment is over, we may never see any of them again.  And yet, they have impacted our lives in so many ways.  Here, when you say "I hope I don't see you again." it is the most wonderful thing you can hope for...…..that you never see them again under these circumstances.

And lastly, the room literally vibrates with faith.  Whether the patient is a believer or not, they welcome everyone's prayers.  The loved ones whisper their concern about the fate of their family member, asking for others to pray for their health, yes, but ultimately for their salvation.  Sometimes we have to be stripped naked to see what is really important......the waiting room in radiation oncology does that.  You come away with wonderful, painful, insightful details of so many lives.  But the one thing I have never sensed there is fear.  I am not saying that is isn't there, they just don't focus on it.

When one is faced with death . . .  something we all talk about but never really deeply think about until it becomes so defined in our life . . . , when it hits us in the face, we see for the first time just how fragile and "human" we are . . .  now we get to choose how we handle it.  I admire each and every one of this new family.  They are facing the ultimate fear and overcoming.  I pray that I will face everything in life with such courage and positivity.

Just Writin' on the River Road