Elephant in the Room

I have quit watching the news.  For a lot of reasons.  For one, it isn't "news" anymore, it is a soap opera.  It is drama, it  is speculation, it is opinions, it is half truths, it is painful.  And it is feeding us, feeding our insecurity, our anger, our emotions and making us into people that we are NOT!

The elephant in the room is politics.  You have to tread so lightly in this day and age for fear of offending someone.  There is no discussion of issues anymore, there is only name calling, accusations, a whole slew of "shoulda, woulda, coulda" that causes angst, problems, and fear.  It is all highly emotional turmoil.

Now, emotions, in and of themselves are good.  As long as they are tempered with wisdom, logic, truth and common sense.  To feel joy, peace or love is a wonderful thing.  However, negative feelings cause anxiety, fear, worry, resentment, bitterness, and can raise our stress levels so high it can make us physically sick.  No matter which side you are on, you tend to watch newscasts of  those who spoon feed you the "emotional" garbage that you want to hear, and it is quite possibly taking you down a an irresponsible path.  I have watched both sides and it is scary how gullible we are, how we accept other people's opinions, or believe what we are told.  And many of those opinions come from celebrities, sports figures, and such who don't have any real knowledge, but they do have an opinion. Didn't you ever have a teacher who told you to "look it up"?  We have research tools at our command, why don't we do that?  There are two sides to every story.  Truth is probably somewhere in the middle.

Whatever happened to being American?  Americans work together, they support one another, they rise up to defend their own.  What happened to them?  When did they leave our country?  I have my opinions, yes, we all do.  But there is no discussing anything anymore, it has become a yelling, screaming match.  It has become hate!  Yes, you heard me right.  We don't disagree anymore, we hate anyone that does not agree with us.  I breaks my heart to watch the posts on Facebook and other venues and see people that I love and respect lowering themselves to hateful, personal attacks on those with whom they disagree.

What makes us hateful?  I can understand you hating someone who murdered a loved one.  That is real and extremely personal.  It would hurt beyond belief.  But to hate a politician, that I don't understand.  Differ, dislike, disagree maybe.  Why are we such angry people?  Is it because life is unfair?  Hate to tell you, but it always has been and always will be.  Government won't fix that.  If life were fair then children would never die of horrible illnesses, good people would have it all and evil people would not, if I worked hard I would succeed, if I was nice to everyone they would be nice to me.  That would be great...….but life is not fair.  In a fair life my friend, Bryan, would not be a quadaplegic, my husband would not have cancer, my child would not be divorced, I would win the lottery (although I am told that you must by a ticket for that to happen).  It is what we do with the unfairness in life that makes us strong, successful, resourceful, and grateful people.  We can change what we don't like, but we should do it with respect, decorum, and without defiling or attacking the other person.

I am going to use our President as an example.  You don't have to agree with him, you don't have to like him, but you should respect him for the office he holds as our leader.  And, unless you intend to leave this country, he is your leader.  If you have no respect for his position as the head of our nation, you are not only showing a lack of American solidarity, you are allowing your own personal emotions to rule.  And if  you agree with him, you can go over board in that direction too!  I have never seen our nation so divided.  It scares me.  There are many things I have disagreed with in the presidencies during my life time, but I never lowered myself to name calling, personal attacks on their family, poking fun or believing everything that was spoon fed to me my media.

It is sad to say, but I think less of you, as an individual, when you resort to demeaning remarks, hateful language, or off color innuendos.  Disagree on policies, disagree on actions, disagree on platforms, but agree to support who ever is elected to do the best they can for our country.  They can't do their best if we don't support them and pray for them.  Politics should not become a personal vendetta to take down an individual.  It should be a discussion of situations, opportunities, possibilities.  I can support one candidate without tearing down another.   If I disagree, I go to the ballot box and vote for the policies that make sense to me.   When I was a young person, I, and I think many others, voted on issues, policies,  or positions and it wasn't all that important which "party" candidates belonged to, but what they hoped to accomplish.  We have a government that is structured to keep a balance.  It can't work properly when the parts don't work the way the creators intended anymore.

I remember as a young person when Kennedy was president.  He was the very first president I ever voted for. We heard about his failures such as the Bay of Pigs, his decisions in the Cuba Missile Crisis and such.  It was not until 30+ years later that we heard about his liaisons with numerous women, his indisgressions in governing, his lack of maturity in decision making, or rumors that his family bought the presidency.  Would it have made a difference had we known at the time?  I think so.  Today he would have been hung from the highest tree. I understand that we want to "know" everything, but I don't think we need to know "everything".  We need to know what is important, what affects the country, what will mold our future, but we don't need to know if the president wears boxers or briefs.

It cuts me to the core to see the hateful, angry nation we have become.  Is that what any of us want?  Is it so important to be right that you will go to any extreme to prove a point.  If you truly want to change things then I suggest praying for our government.  Pray for those individuals that you disagree with; pray for wisdom, compassion, strength, patience, and abilities, but more than anything that they will understand truth.  Without truth (not half truths, or twisted truths), we can not move forward.  We are only treading water in a stagnant pond.

Do you understand that you will never sway someone with negative, degrading speech?  You, however, might change someone's mind by telling them all the positive things your candidate has done.  As the old saying goes "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."  I get that some of you are upset, that things are not going your way, that you don't like what is happening. . . . but what are you doing that is positive to change that?

United we stand.  Divided we fall.  I see some with so much hate that they are willing to see our nation destroyed.   Do we really want to go there?  I would dare say that well over 95 percent of the people in our nation are not racist, sexist, elitist or any other "ist".  Why do we listen to that very small minority that insists on dragging us down?  As a nation, we are not perfect, but we are better than most.

Consider this.  Pride was the ultimate sin that caused Satan's eviction from heaven.  He aspired to be God!  Our need to be "right" is the sincerest form of pride.  Pride can be our downfall.

I am quite sure this will anger some of you.  Perhaps it will hit too close to home.  There are those who will never finish the article or ever read another.  That's okay.  I am sorry. . . sorry that we can't discuss our differences.  But before you throw the baby out with the bath water, consider your actions.  Are you helping or hurting?  Are you lifting up or tearing down.  Are you loving or hating?

My challenge for you is to turn off your television, your radio, your social medial, your newspaper for a month. Live life without the anger, fighting, sarcasm, and negativity for a month.  See what your life is like.  If you can't do this, then you may want to take a serious look at who is controlling your life.  Perhaps we should all do some serious re-assessment.

I suspect the following fable has been read by all, but read it now with your eye on the politics in our country.  Fable or not, it is exceedingly true!

Just Writin' on the River Road

The Blind Men and the Elephant

It was six men of Indostan
To learning much inclined,
Who went to see an Elephant
(Though all of them were blind),
That each by observation
Might satisfy his mind.

The First approached the Elephant,
And happening to fall
Against his broad and sturdy side,
At once began to bawl:
"God bless me! --but the Elephant
Is very like a wall!"

The Second, feeling of the tusk,
Cried: "Ho!--what have we here
So very round and smooth and sharp?
To me 't is mighty clear
This wonder of an Elephant
Is very like a spear!"

The Third approached the animal
And happening to take
The squirming trunk within his hands,
Thus boldly up and spake:
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
is very like a snake!"

The Fourth reached out his eager hand
And felt about the knee.
"What most this wondrous beast is like
Is mighty plain," quoth he;
" 'T is clear enough the Elephant
Is very like a tree!"

The Fifth, who chanced to touch the ear,
Said: "E'en the blindest man
Can tell what this resembles most;
Deny the fact who can,
This marvel of an Elephant
Is very like a fan!"

The Sixth no sooner had begun
About the beast to grope,
Than, seizing on the swinging tail
That fell within his scope,
"I see," quoth he, "the Elephant
Is very like a rope!"

And so these men of Indostan
Disputed loud and long.
Each in his own opinion
Exceeding stiff and strong,
Though each was partly in the right,
And all were in the wrong!

Moral.
So, oft in theologic wars
The disputants, I ween,
Rail on in utter ignorance
of what each other mean,
And prate about an Elephant
Not one of them has seen!


John Godfry Sax -- A Hindu Fable

How do you compare?

It sneaks up on you.  I don't see it coming until I am in the middle of it.  I don't even know where it comes from, but I know I am not happy with myself when I become aware of my thoughts.

I am talking about "comparison".  It seems like such a common place word.  Actually, it seems inconsequential.  But it has power to bring us to our knees.  What is this need we have to compare ourselves to others, compare our jobs, homes, situations, health, or just about everything which is around us.  It is unhealthy.  It is the opposite of contentment.  It makes us constantly strive to be something we are not, to want more, to try to live up the neighbor's standards.  Why?  Why can't we be happy with what we have?

This is not a new problem.  In fact, it is as old as time.  If you remember the story of Adam and Eve, they were content in the garden . . . until Eve became discontented when she compared all she had to what she could have by eating the fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil.  Then she would know everything.  Comparing what was good, true, and life giving to that one little thing that she couldn't have has been a bane to all of us.

I found myself doing it the other day.  Saw a sign on my neighborhood walk for a house for sale with a POOL.  Immediately I fell into the comparison mode.  Mine has thus and so, but they have a POOL.  I love my yard with its cute little creek and lots of trees......why isn't it enough?  Why can't I be content with what I have?

And it is not just a woman thing, you guys have it too.  It is called vehicles, tools and toys.  You need a newer car, a bigger truck, the latest boat, 4 wheeler, golf clubs, and so on.

I visited a delightful consignment store this week.  It was clean, had beautiful items, and wonderful displays and I immediately began comparing.  I love my store, the Calico Cupboard.  It is everything I dreamed of owning, until I walked into that store.  It is such a shame that we such creatures of …………well, comparison.

I have often contemplated the Apostle Paul's statement that he was content in all things, good or bad. Will I ever attain such standing?  Deep down I don't think it has anything to do with the "stuff" we have, it has to do with whether or not we are happy with ourselves.  "Stuff" will never make us happy.  It will never be enough to fill our insecurities, our desires, our wants.

So what do we do?  Deny ourselves all but the necessities?   Give it all away and live in a grass shack?  I don't know.  I wish I had the answer for you.  If we are secure in our place in the world, in our relationships, especially with God, it may be easier.  At least we are aware of our shortcomings.  And with awareness comes the first inkling of change.

Perhaps the first question we need to ask ourselves is "Why do I feel this way?"  Personally, I think mine goes back to childhood.  I had one parent who was content with our "homesteading" lifestyle.  And I had one who was ashamed that we lived as we did.  If I could find a place on either side of the fence, I might have a chance.  But I tend to try to balance on the top rail.  It makes for a very precarious sense of security.

I have found one thing that seems to point me in the right direction.  Gratitude.  If I literally make a list of all my blessings, there is nothing I need.  In fact, there is very little that I want.  I am so thankful for all I have spiritually, personally, materially, physically and many other ways.  I don't need a POOL. What I need is the ability to be content with everything I already have, to enjoy it to the fullest, to share it with others, and be grateful for it all.  So easy.  And yet such a struggle.

Just Writin' on the River Road