A new low...

It has come to this. I have sunk to a new low. I have turned into my mother in oh so many ways (not all of which are bad). Life and age have a way of leveling the playing field. And this new “lifestyle” hasn’t helped.

We are all “suffering” from this corona virus thing in one way or another. While not sick, and not particularly worried about getting sick, it has created a whole new world for me. I feel cheated! Upon moving, I had a number of plans to volunteer, to join things, to be involved in church, travel, to spend lots of time with my children and grandchildren . . . nearly none of which have come to fruition. The days pass . . . I know this because I have to refill my pill box weekly, but it seems there is no satisfaction, opportunity, or growth in my life. Things have become routine . . . get up, sit in front of this machine for a couple of hours, do a small handful of household chores, read until dark. At that point I resort to television and there is little on the tube that I care to watch. Which brings be to my new “low”, game shows. Did you know there is a whole network dedicated to game shows? New ones, old ones, silly ones, and some a little challenging. Now I admit to being a Jeopardy fan. I like the challenge of trivia. But most of the others are what I would loosely term entertainment. But sometimes it beats what is on the rest of the line up for the evening.

Not only have I turned into my mother, but I have also followed in my father-in-law’s footsteps. As a middle-ager, I would wonder why he like to watch those “old” shows. I think I get it now. Familiarity. And most had good stories, no foul language, heroes, and most of all, I could identify with them in some way. The wheel has come full circle. Don’t you just love getting old? I plead guilty to Perry Mason, Andy Griffith, Lucy, Carol Burnett, even Red Skelton. Now these people were funny! It was predictable, every Lucy show had the same plot but I loved every minute of it. Andy and Barney have that same relationship that never ends. It depicts life in a gentler time, a kinder time. It feels good! We need that right now . . . we need to feel good.

In spite of having satellite TV, I also have Netflix. Sadly I have depleted much of their stores too. I have watched all the British murder mysteries, reruns of some old favorites, but much of it is foul mouthed, violent or has subject matter that I prefer not subject myself to. I loved the Hallmark channel at one time, but now it has  become the same movie over and over with different characters and new locations. It can almost be depressing after a while for life does not always turn out perfectly in the end.

And so I spend my days reading. It is one way to vicariously experience the world. But even that has been a challenge. I gave my entire library away when I moved thinking I could use the public library. Well, guess what? It won’t be open again until the middle of July. So I haunt the “little libraries” in the neighborhood, check the shelves at thrift stores and read things I wouldn’t have given a second glance before. And you know, some have been quiet good. It is my escape. Escape to another world, another time, a new adventure, becoming acquainted with new characters, and for a moment, LIVING a new and different life.

And so, book in hand, game shows on the TV, life goes on. I pray that I don’t become so ingrained in this new way of life that I can’t find my way out of it when all of this goes away. Will I come away with my wit and my sense of humor still in tact? Or will resentment fill those slots. It is a struggle. And I am sure I am not alone.

Just Writin' on the River Road

How do you compare?

It sneaks up on you.  I don't see it coming until I am in the middle of it.  I don't even know where it comes from, but I know I am not happy with myself when I become aware of my thoughts.

I am talking about "comparison".  It seems like such a common place word.  Actually, it seems inconsequential.  But it has power to bring us to our knees.  What is this need we have to compare ourselves to others, compare our jobs, homes, situations, health, or just about everything which is around us.  It is unhealthy.  It is the opposite of contentment.  It makes us constantly strive to be something we are not, to want more, to try to live up the neighbor's standards.  Why?  Why can't we be happy with what we have?

This is not a new problem.  In fact, it is as old as time.  If you remember the story of Adam and Eve, they were content in the garden . . . until Eve became discontented when she compared all she had to what she could have by eating the fruit from the Tree of Good and Evil.  Then she would know everything.  Comparing what was good, true, and life giving to that one little thing that she couldn't have has been a bane to all of us.

I found myself doing it the other day.  Saw a sign on my neighborhood walk for a house for sale with a POOL.  Immediately I fell into the comparison mode.  Mine has thus and so, but they have a POOL.  I love my yard with its cute little creek and lots of trees......why isn't it enough?  Why can't I be content with what I have?

And it is not just a woman thing, you guys have it too.  It is called vehicles, tools and toys.  You need a newer car, a bigger truck, the latest boat, 4 wheeler, golf clubs, and so on.

I visited a delightful consignment store this week.  It was clean, had beautiful items, and wonderful displays and I immediately began comparing.  I love my store, the Calico Cupboard.  It is everything I dreamed of owning, until I walked into that store.  It is such a shame that we such creatures of …………well, comparison.

I have often contemplated the Apostle Paul's statement that he was content in all things, good or bad. Will I ever attain such standing?  Deep down I don't think it has anything to do with the "stuff" we have, it has to do with whether or not we are happy with ourselves.  "Stuff" will never make us happy.  It will never be enough to fill our insecurities, our desires, our wants.

So what do we do?  Deny ourselves all but the necessities?   Give it all away and live in a grass shack?  I don't know.  I wish I had the answer for you.  If we are secure in our place in the world, in our relationships, especially with God, it may be easier.  At least we are aware of our shortcomings.  And with awareness comes the first inkling of change.

Perhaps the first question we need to ask ourselves is "Why do I feel this way?"  Personally, I think mine goes back to childhood.  I had one parent who was content with our "homesteading" lifestyle.  And I had one who was ashamed that we lived as we did.  If I could find a place on either side of the fence, I might have a chance.  But I tend to try to balance on the top rail.  It makes for a very precarious sense of security.

I have found one thing that seems to point me in the right direction.  Gratitude.  If I literally make a list of all my blessings, there is nothing I need.  In fact, there is very little that I want.  I am so thankful for all I have spiritually, personally, materially, physically and many other ways.  I don't need a POOL. What I need is the ability to be content with everything I already have, to enjoy it to the fullest, to share it with others, and be grateful for it all.  So easy.  And yet such a struggle.

Just Writin' on the River Road

A New Year. A New Life

I have been spoiled for the last fifteen years.  I had a spacious home in the country with lots of room to roam.  Life has changed.  I never expected to get old(er), nor did I ever think I wouldn't be capable of doing some of the things I love.  But it is so . . . and I have to face the music.

We finally sold our home with the huge cowboy porch that sat on the bank of the Snake River.  The house came with the porch . . . but it was the porch which I bought.  And it was a deal!  It has hosted church services, breakfasts, potlucks,   parties, graduations, baptisms, family, and oh, so much time sitting in my swing reading a great book.  How could I leave it?   It was a long, well thought out decision, one that had practicality written all over it.  Even when you love something, if you can't take care of it adequately, it hurts to watch it deteriorate.  The first to go were my animals: the horse, the cows, the goats, the dogs, and lastly my chickens.  The passagae of each of those left a vacancy in my life.  Then came the war with weeds that I could not come close to winning.  And add to that the upkeep of the buildings and taking care of irrigation, so for all the practical reasons, we had to downsize.

Will I miss it?  Absolutely!  But it helps to know that the new owners "love" it as much as I did.  And they have youth on their side to keep it up and running.  They will be a good addition  to the community.  They have plans, which is good.  Everything has to evolve and grow.

As I looked around at those empty rooms one last time before I left, it no longer felt like home.  My things were gone, the walls were bare, even the memories had begun to fade.   But I have been blessed.  I have gone from spacious to cozy.  And perhaps that is good.  Less upkeep, less work, less stuff.  I have decided that "home"is where ever my "stuff" is, those things that are family heirlooms, gifts given to me, stuff that is comfortable, even my own bed.  Will I adapt?  Probably very well in the end.  Right now I am still figuring things out.  Each day is a challenge to find the necessities that make this new place "work".

God is not without knowing my desires.  We went from eight acres on the river to a half acre with a creek in back.  I even have a mallard and his mistress in that water behind my house.  There are many trees, a gazebo for my swing, and the anticipation of seeing what will pop out of the ground next spring.  All new and yet comfortable.  

What I will miss most are the people.   I will miss my Bed and Breakfast guests.  Each and everyone of them were interesting and delightful.  Some were funny, some became family before they left our home, all of them brought "arm chair travel" to my door. Not only did they provide spending money, they left me with memories and friendships that will never be lost.  I will also miss my community.  It was wonderful to walk down the street and know or recognize almost everyone I met.  To have people recognize my face and know my name is a trait unique to small towns.  What I miss most is Twelve Baskets, the non-profit that we three "crazy ladies" founded nearly ten years ago.  Oh, I don't miss the physical labor (my back is profoundly grateful), or the hassle of sorting goods and labeling items. I miss my customers. Over the years, many have become more than just customers, they have become very special to me in one way or another.  It took time to establish those relationships, a treasured time.  Relationships will happen again, but those people will always remain in a secreted place in my heart.

I am  looking forward.  Never one to let grass grow under my feet, I am already planning for the future.  There is so much to do, so many things to try, so many places yet unexplored . . . there is not enough time for everything.  Bittersweet.  That word says it all.  I am looking forward to new people who will enrich my life, to trying new things, and learning and growing . . . but still treasure the memories of all of those people who already made a difference, changed me, encouraged me, or lifted me up when I had hit the bottom.  I will never lose all I have gained from them! They will go with me for the rest of my life.

Just Writin' on the River Road

Why Volunteer?

Do you ever wonder why some people volunteer for everything? And others are not much interested in working for nothing. Maybe it is because you have not yet found your niche. We are all gifted in some manner, we all have likes and dislikes, or things that we are passionate about.

For those of you outside of my local area, this plea will probably not pertain to you.  After being in the "volunteer"business for nearly ten years running a non-profit, we are seriously considering closing the doors of our ministry.  Three people can only be stretched so thin and something as to give.  So I want to tell you what you have to win, or lose, if no one steps up to the plate and helps Twelve Baskets continue on.

We, at Twelve Basket’s Cooperative Ministry, are always seeking for volunteers. If you think volunteering is simply being there on the weekend, sorting through donations and greeting customers, you would be right . . . and wrong. There are so many additional needs that you may have never considered. We need “fix it” people to check out mechanical and electronic goods, organizers who want to help with special events such as the Coat Give-Away, the Harvest Festival, the Community Yard Sale, or float builders for the 4^th of July and Christmas parades. We need media people to advertise special events and make posts on Facebook or put up fliers. Those people who are computer savvy could help with so many things. Or perhaps you feel led to participate as a board member. How about being a financial counselor?   Do you have skills you can share with others?  Many of these things only require a few hours here and there, but all of you are necessary to make things run smoothly.  And yes, it does require a commitment just like a "real" job!

So why volunteer? There are so many reasons! While you will not get paid monetarily, you will gain ever so much from the experience. Young people, volunteer work looks great on your resume. It tells future employers that you care about more than wages, you care about your community, a cause, and people. It shows you are not afraid of hard work. You will gain abilities that will be helpful as you step out into the world. Honing your people skills will take you a long way in life.

Those of you who are retired, you too will gain from helping out. First there is the satisfaction of doing a job, serving your community or aiding someone who has a need. Secondly you will find a whole new set of friends and acquaintances that will enhance your world. And yes, you will learn new skills. Going against the old adage, you “can teach an old dog new tricks”. In fact, as we age, we need to be challenged to learn new things. It keeps us vital.

Some of the many perks of working at Twelve Baskets is the sense of family and community. The work can be hard at times, but there is a venue within the organization that will uniquely fit you and your abilities. Some of you like to be cashiers and greet the public, some like to organize and redecorate, others enjoy doing yard work or the many odds and ends at need to be done each week. Some of you can help from home, others are needed at the store on a regular basis.

The bottom line to any volunteer experience is not what you give, but what you get in return. Over the years we have been blessed beyond measure with your support, your friendship, your abilities, and the fact that you care about others and your community. We would love to share that sense of blessing with more of you. We want to get to know you. It makes our lives richer. Not only our lives, but everyone you come in contact with. We would like you to become part of our family.  

Right now we are accepting applications for two or more managers, as well as additional help.  If you don't volunteer to help, this little store that has supported this community for nearly ten years will close its doors by the first of the year.  And if you think we are "just" a thrift store, you would be so wrong.  One hundred percent of our profits from your generous donations go back into this community.  We not only help individual members of our community, we give out scholarships, we offer warm coats to the community for free, we support our local library, museum, art council, prescription fund, Senior Center, food bank, fire department, Disaster Fund and more.  We offer a place for those with special needs to learn some basic skills such as socialization.  We participate in fund raisers for those who have suffered a major loss.  We offer a safe place for those who are at risk.  They receive love, understanding, and help in any number of ways from personal counseling to financial management to reestablishing their lives.  And you will be prayed for, hugged, listened to, and leave knowing that somebody cares.

Yes, we offer wonderful goods that are donated by our generous community but that is just the tip of the iceberg that is visible to you.  We laugh with you, we cry with you, we support you and care about every little thing in your life that causes you joy or pain.  Do you really want to see us fall by the wayside?  Especially since it would only take a small sacrifice on your part to keep this ministry up and running.

We ask that you consider joining our team.  You will be blessed.  I can promise you that!

Just Writin' on the River Road