A new low...

It has come to this. I have sunk to a new low. I have turned into my mother in oh so many ways (not all of which are bad). Life and age have a way of leveling the playing field. And this new “lifestyle” hasn’t helped.

We are all “suffering” from this corona virus thing in one way or another. While not sick, and not particularly worried about getting sick, it has created a whole new world for me. I feel cheated! Upon moving, I had a number of plans to volunteer, to join things, to be involved in church, travel, to spend lots of time with my children and grandchildren . . . nearly none of which have come to fruition. The days pass . . . I know this because I have to refill my pill box weekly, but it seems there is no satisfaction, opportunity, or growth in my life. Things have become routine . . . get up, sit in front of this machine for a couple of hours, do a small handful of household chores, read until dark. At that point I resort to television and there is little on the tube that I care to watch. Which brings be to my new “low”, game shows. Did you know there is a whole network dedicated to game shows? New ones, old ones, silly ones, and some a little challenging. Now I admit to being a Jeopardy fan. I like the challenge of trivia. But most of the others are what I would loosely term entertainment. But sometimes it beats what is on the rest of the line up for the evening.

Not only have I turned into my mother, but I have also followed in my father-in-law’s footsteps. As a middle-ager, I would wonder why he like to watch those “old” shows. I think I get it now. Familiarity. And most had good stories, no foul language, heroes, and most of all, I could identify with them in some way. The wheel has come full circle. Don’t you just love getting old? I plead guilty to Perry Mason, Andy Griffith, Lucy, Carol Burnett, even Red Skelton. Now these people were funny! It was predictable, every Lucy show had the same plot but I loved every minute of it. Andy and Barney have that same relationship that never ends. It depicts life in a gentler time, a kinder time. It feels good! We need that right now . . . we need to feel good.

In spite of having satellite TV, I also have Netflix. Sadly I have depleted much of their stores too. I have watched all the British murder mysteries, reruns of some old favorites, but much of it is foul mouthed, violent or has subject matter that I prefer not subject myself to. I loved the Hallmark channel at one time, but now it has  become the same movie over and over with different characters and new locations. It can almost be depressing after a while for life does not always turn out perfectly in the end.

And so I spend my days reading. It is one way to vicariously experience the world. But even that has been a challenge. I gave my entire library away when I moved thinking I could use the public library. Well, guess what? It won’t be open again until the middle of July. So I haunt the “little libraries” in the neighborhood, check the shelves at thrift stores and read things I wouldn’t have given a second glance before. And you know, some have been quiet good. It is my escape. Escape to another world, another time, a new adventure, becoming acquainted with new characters, and for a moment, LIVING a new and different life.

And so, book in hand, game shows on the TV, life goes on. I pray that I don’t become so ingrained in this new way of life that I can’t find my way out of it when all of this goes away. Will I come away with my wit and my sense of humor still in tact? Or will resentment fill those slots. It is a struggle. And I am sure I am not alone.

Just Writin' on the River Road