We finally sold our home with the huge cowboy porch that sat on the bank of the Snake River. The house came with the porch . . . but it was the porch which I bought. And it was a deal! It has hosted church services, breakfasts, potlucks, parties, graduations, baptisms, family, and oh, so much time sitting in my swing reading a great book. How could I leave it? It was a long, well thought out decision, one that had practicality written all over it. Even when you love something, if you can't take care of it adequately, it hurts to watch it deteriorate. The first to go were my animals: the horse, the cows, the goats, the dogs, and lastly my chickens. The passagae of each of those left a vacancy in my life. Then came the war with weeds that I could not come close to winning. And add to that the upkeep of the buildings and taking care of irrigation, so for all the practical reasons, we had to downsize.Will I miss it? Absolutely! But it helps to know that the new owners "love" it as much as I did. And they have youth on their side to keep it up and running. They will be a good addition to the community. They have plans, which is good. Everything has to evolve and grow.
As I looked around at those empty rooms one last time before I left, it no longer felt like home. My things were gone, the walls were bare, even the memories had begun to fade. But I have been blessed. I have gone from spacious to cozy. And perhaps that is good. Less upkeep, less work, less stuff. I have decided that "home"is where ever my "stuff" is, those things that are family heirlooms, gifts given to me, stuff that is comfortable, even my own bed. Will I adapt? Probably very well in the end. Right now I am still figuring things out. Each day is a challenge to find the necessities that make this new place "work".
God is not without knowing my desires. We went from eight acres on the river to a half acre with a creek in back. I even have a mallard and his mistress in that water behind my house. There are many trees, a gazebo for my swing, and the anticipation of seeing what will pop out of the ground next spring. All new and yet comfortable.
What I will miss most are the people. I will miss my Bed and Breakfast guests. Each and everyone of them were interesting and delightful. Some were funny, some became family before they left our home, all of them brought "arm chair travel" to my door. Not only did they provide spending money, they left me with memories and friendships that will never be lost. I will also miss my community. It was wonderful to walk down the street and know or recognize almost everyone I met. To have people recognize my face and know my name is a trait unique to small towns. What I miss most is Twelve Baskets, the non-profit that we three "crazy ladies" founded nearly ten years ago. Oh, I don't miss the physical labor (my back is profoundly grateful), or the hassle of sorting goods and labeling items. I miss my customers. Over the years, many have become more than just customers, they have become very special to me in one way or another. It took time to establish those relationships, a treasured time. Relationships will happen again, but those people will always remain in a secreted place in my heart.
I am looking forward. Never one to let grass grow under my feet, I am already planning for the future. There is so much to do, so many things to try, so many places yet unexplored . . . there is not enough time for everything. Bittersweet. That word says it all. I am looking forward to new people who will enrich my life, to trying new things, and learning and growing . . . but still treasure the memories of all of those people who already made a difference, changed me, encouraged me, or lifted me up when I had hit the bottom. I will never lose all I have gained from them! They will go with me for the rest of my life.
Just Writin' on the River Road
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