Lost it . . .or not

You know, I thought I had lost it.  With moving and all, being in a bigger city, not really knowing anyone, it would make sense that I had lost it.  In fact, I had been so busy that I really wasn't even aware that it was gone.  Until I ended up standing in line at Target for some caramel pop corn last week.

You probably never noticed that I even had one.  I don't think people generally see it, but it is there.  Clearly visible to some at least.  But, then again, I don't know that they are even aware of it.  It is this sign I have printed on my forehead that says "You can tell her anything."  I used to wonder why people shared their intimate thoughts, their past transgressions, their fears, or loneliness with me.  I am no one special, I can't fix anything, I might be a moderate listener, but nothing more.  I have decided that there must be a sign on my forehead letting them know that it is "okay" to share their deepest, darkest secrets with a relatively safe, seventy plus grandma.  It is kind of like putting your kid in the car . . . suddenly things you never knew about come pouring our of their mouths.  Works with grandkids too.

So as I patiently waited for my caramel corn at Target behind two younger people, I smiled at the cashier as she rang up their purchases.   When it was my turn she leaned forward over the counter and motioned me to join her . . . "In our day", she said with our heads huddled over the counter, "young people let the elderly go first."  I think I was actually a little offended at that, even though I knew she meant well.  But then she began talking about getting older, how was she going to take care of herself, the rent kept going up, she had no husband and so on.  I just nodded and smiled.  What do you do?  Agree?  Assure? Ignore?  Why me?  I am quite sure my sign was blinking neon red.  I just can't seem to turn it on and off when I want.  I don't mind listening, but some occasions and places are just awkward.  I agreed with her, took my popcorn and left.  I will probably never see her again, but she has stuck in my mind.  She has no name, address or any other pertinent information for me to help her . . .  but I can and will pray for her.  And maybe that is the only reason for our encounter.

Do you ever wonder at those chance encounters in life?  Do you even pay attention?  I never used to, but I am getting better at it.  I overheard a friend telling someone many years ago "Anything you tell her, will stay with her."  I thought that a little odd because I don't feel it is true of myself.  I gossip just like anyone else, spread the news, question people's judgements or actions, truly wonder at their opinions sometimes.  Often, in my little ironing room at Twelve Baskets, people would show up just to talk.  And we discussed everything!  But most often it was personal, painful, frustrating or irritating for them.  Or it was spiritual in nature.  I am not a counselor, nor do I try to be one.  I think most people just need to voice their problems to figure out how to deal with them.  They can do it.  They just need a face in front of them to listen, arms to hold them when they hurt, a smile to lift their spirit, and assurance that they are not alone because God loves them.

In some ways it was nice to know my "sign" is still working.  I am truly awed that God would grant me this gift.  It is still a puzzlement.  I suspect the light won't go off until I am no longer here on earth.  And who knows, perhaps even then it will be remembered.  Perhaps someone else will pick up the "sign" and continue on down the road.  Never cast aside a gift, even if you don't think it is what you want or even need.  Trust that God knows what he is doing.

Just Writin' on the River Road